Milking It

Milking It
Originally uploaded by stemflickr.

Having Cancer is a real bitch, especially when you're chasing it around your body. However, if you're prepared to milk it you do find it has the odd benefit. For instance the £500 grant I've just received from Macmillan Cancer Care. It's half of what I was told I could get by that bloke Andy, but still an ample sum. I am very thankful. They do great work and the money will help with my ever increasing credit card debt.

I have also applyed to the Willow Foundation for a 'special day'. My day is to go see Jurassic 5 at Newcastle Academy and go backstage to meet them. I can't fucking wait! Also, I accidently touched a nurse's breast. Seriously, it was an accident. No, really. My bro suggested I attempt to get a bosom facial (his new phrase of the month) a la Open All Hours. I asked how one would attempt such a manuva and he said: Get a nurse to adjust something behind your head then get some timely back cramps and thrust the face upwards. I like his style.